


When You Need Me

by PsychoHalo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Banter, Flashbacks, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, frenemies to lovers, larry falling out, mentions of cutting, mentions of depression, non-au, texts, trigger warning, zouis friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 16,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoHalo/pseuds/PsychoHalo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Louis and Harry were friends with benefits and Zayn and Liam were in love until everything went wrong.<br/>Told through texts, phone calls, and flashbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who Is This?

**Author's Note:**

> Not yet completed.  
> **Trigger Warning** depression and self-harm/cutting mentioned

[8:06pm]  
Louis: How are you holding up, man?  
Zayn: who this?  
Louis: Um, it's Louis.  
Zayn: oh  
Louis: So you deleted my number? Guess I deserved that.  
Zayn: Um tf do you care louis? You literally haven't talked to me in months  
Louis: I realize I've been a terrible friend. I was being selfish and didn't support your decision but I'm over it now.  
Zayn: so why have you finally decided to text me?  
Louis: Because I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel alone.  
Zayn: why do you think I feel alone?  
Louis: I heard about you and Perrie. I can't imagine how you're feeling.  
Zouis: oh  
Louis: You don't have to talk about it. Just know that I'm here now and I still care about you every bit as much as I always have. Also congrats on your record deal. The boys and I are so proud.  
Zouis: Thanks mate. Not really sure why youre being nice I've been nothing but a dick to you. What did I do to deserve friends like you guys?  
Louis: It's all in the past now Z. I'll text you later. I'm about to go host a charity ball with Liam.  
Zayn: have a blast man and tell Liam I said hi


	2. How's Zayn?

[8:17pm]  
Louis: I hope you know I will bid however much it takes to get your face painted.  
Liam: i don't think u will tho  
Louis: Oh Payno, your lack of faith in me is sad.  
Liam: so is your lack of maturity  
Louis: Wow, you are the king of comebacks. All hail Liam. Note the sarcasm.  
Liam: oi! Shut it!  
Louis: So I texted Z.  
Liam: did he reply?! Is he mad at u?  
Louis: Yes and why would you assume he's mad at me?  
Liam: really louis?  
Louis: Okay I know I could've handled the situation with him better but all is forgiven.  
Liam: so he's not mad anymore?  
Louis: No.  
Liam: what did u say to him?  
Louis: That I was a jerk and I'm sorry and I'm still here for him. He's obviously going through a tough time.  
Liam: How is he?  
Louis: He didn't really talk much. When I brought up Perrie he just said "oh." But when I said I was there for him if he wanted to talk he was grateful.  
Liam: Good and it does seem like he needs some1. Maybe we can all hang sometime  
Louis: Not to change the subject, but why tf is Harry calling me?  
Liam: I thought he was mad at u?  
Louis: He is. He's been ignoring me all month. Maybe he's calling to apologize?  
Liam: no offense but it kinda was ur fault  
[8:29pm]  
Liam: Im sorry I guess it's none of my business saying that but u 2 have more drama than the Kardasian's i s2g.  
[8:31pm]  
Liam: are you gonna answer him?  
[8:34pm]  
Liam: I guess that's why you're not replying. ill see you soon tell me what he says.


	3. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so it's not too confusing, if there are quotation marks around what they're saying, then the characters are on the phone instead of texting.

[8:29pm]  
Incoming Call From: Harry  
Louis: "Guess who finally decided to call me?"  
Harry: "If you're gonna be a dick, I'll hang up."  
Louis: "Harry this is getting out of hand. I don't even know why you're mad."  
Harry: "You very well know why I'm mad."  
Louis: "Oh my god, would you get over it?"  
Harry: "I didn't call you to discuss this or to forgive you. I called to wish you luck tonight. We might be fighting and yes I'm still mad but you're doing a great thing for the kids tonight so have fun I guess."  
Louis: "Thanks? I think....hello?"  
[8:32pm]  
Call Ended  
Louis: "Wow Harry hanging up is such a mature thing to do."


	4. Nothing's Fine

[8:34pm]  
Louis: You're right, it is none of your business. Screw you. And just for the record, Payno, I didn't do anything wrong. It's not my fault the kid is so sensitive. And yes, I did answer him.  
Liam: simmer the hell down I didn't mean 2 offend u dude. I'm just saying u aren't always right. if you would just hink about harrys feelings once we wouldn't be in this mess.  
Louis: So am I just supposed to do everything in a way as to not upset him? That's impossible. He's being impossible and immature.  
Liam: LOUIS YOU CUT HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE OF COURSE HES GONNA BE UPSET  
Louis: Your point? Zayn cut all of us out of his life and we're okay.  
Liam: You're not okay  
Louis: Fine, you're right, I'm not.  
Liam: sorry what was that?  
Louis: YOU ARE RIGHT!  
Liam: seriously tho Lou I think you should seem some1  
Louis: why?  
Liam: you know why  
Louis: You swore you wouldn't bring it up. It's none of your business.  
Liam: not telling your best friends stuff like is why you lost Harry.  
Louis: Okay, first of all, how dare you. Secondly, screw you.  
Liam: I'm just trying to help u but u refuse to accept help so I give up. See you in 10 for the ball.


	5. Layn

[9:58am]  
Zayn: How was the ball last night?  
Louis: It was really great. Had a blast. How was your night?  
Zayn: if I'm honest, it was rough.  
Louis: Do you wanna talk about it?  
Zayn: rather not. Thanks tho  
Louis: Sure. I'm here if you change your mind. Or your ticket.  
Zayn: thanks and haha nice pun.  
Louis: I try.  
Zayn: so did you tell Liam I said hi?  
Louis: Yes, I did. He was very happy to hear it too.  
Zayn: I miss him the most.  
Louis: I'm trying so hard not to be offended right now.  
Zayn: I didn't mean it like that Louis I miss you all the time too. It's just Li was always there when I would go through a difficult time and he made me feel better.   
Louis: I knew what you meant Z. And I'm sure he helped you feel better alright. (;  
Zayn: um do I wanna know what you're implying?  
Louis: (;  
Zayn: stop  
Louis: I bet it doesn't take much for him to make you feel better though. I mean he is, as they say, "daddy af."  
Zayn: shut up Louis. He is not "daddy" that's disgusting. Why is that a thing?  
Louis: I'm messing with you Z.  
Zayn: well stop, it's not like that.  
Louis: Okay, whatever you say... (;  
Zayn: it's not!  
Louis: Only someone who has done something with someone would deny it that much. (;  
Zayn: is that why you deny Larry so much?  
Louis: Haha. Jump off a bridge asshole. We are talking about Layn.  
Zayn: wtf Louis? It's Ziam. What rock have you been hiding under?  
Louis: So you admit it!  
Zayn: No I didn't admit anything?  
Louis: So you and Liam have never done anything? Not even once?  
Zayn: no  
Louis: Okay, Pinocchio. (;  
Zayn: Fine, you win! We messed around once. U happy?  
Louis: WAIT WHAT?  
Zayn:...what?  
Louis: I WAS MESSING WITH YOU! I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK YOU HAD.  
Louis: DEFINE MESSING AROUND?  
Louis: WAS THEIR NUDITY INVOLVED?  
Zayn: wtf Louis, no there wasn't nudity you perv.  
Louis: IM NEVER LETTING LIAM LIVE THIS DOWN  
Zayn: YOU CANT TELL HIM THAT I TOLD YOU  
Louis: But I can, and I will.  
Zayn: HOE DONT DO IT


	6. Who Told You?

[10:29am]  
Louis: Liam  
[10:20am]  
Louis: Liam  
[10:23am]  
Louis: Li  
[10:28am]  
Louis: Leeyum  
[10:40am]  
Louis: Lima Bean  
[10:45am]  
Louis: Liam James Payne, answer my texts!  
[10:49am]  
Louis: Don't make me say it  
[10:50am]  
Liam: piss off I'm trying to sleep!  
Louis: Thank god you answered. I was about to have to call you daddy to get your attention.  
Liam: one day you will fall in a hole and I will be the only one who can save you but I will remember this day and then leave you  
Louis: Damn, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  
Liam: what do you want?  
Louis: YOU AND ZAYN SNOGGED?!?!?!  
[10:54am]  
Liam: um  
[10:56am]  
Liam: no?  
Louis: Zayn told me!  
Liam: WHAT? I'm gonna kill him!  
Louis: So, Zayn was serious then?  
Liam: how much do you know?  
Louis: That you and him kissed  
Liam: oh  
Louis: So that was all that happened between you two?  
Liam: please don't tell anyone   
Louis: You owe me, Payno.


	7. Kiss and Tell

[11:03am]  
Liam: U told Louis about us?!  
Zayn: hey liam, nice to talk to you too...? And he kinda forced it outta me. I'm sorry. He doesn't know much. It doesn't matter anyway, it's over now and I know you regret it anyway.  
Liam: I'm not mad at you. I don't regret it. That's what I wanted back then.  
Zayn: But it's not what you want anymore?  
Liam: Not after the way it ended  
Zayn: you were fine with us cheating at the beginning  
Liam: It made me feel like shit Z  
Zayn: I never meant to hurt you babe  
Liam: how much does Louis know?  
Zayn: he doesn't know I was cheating on Perrie  
Liam: Did you ever tell Perrie?  
Zayn: yes  
Liam: How did she take it?  
Zayn: That's the main reason we broke up  
Liam: I feel bad I was the reason she left. I'm sorry it ended like that. You must be heartbroken. If u need anything let me know and I'll drop everything I really mean it. Besides I owe you that much.  
Zayn: thanks Li and you don't owe me anything. It's just as much my fault.  
Liam: don't be too hard on yourself  
Zayn: Wish you were here right now. You always knew how to cheer me up.  
Liam: I really miss you Z  
Zayn: I miss you too Li.


	8. Don't Tell

[2:41pm]  
Louis: Don't tell Zayn that I told you that he told me about you and him.  
Liam: okay that's not confusing at all. And 2 late...oops  
Louis: Damn it Liam.  
Liam: I'm not the one who told something that I wasn't supposed to  
Louis: When did this kiss happen?  
Liam: none of your business  
Louis: It wasn't it while he was with Perrie was it?  
Liam: Don't you have enough in your own life to worry about?  
Louis: What is that supposed to mean?  
Liam: I'm sorry I didn't mean it to be so rude it's just that you have Jessica bugging you, your fight with Harry and the other things that I promised I wouldn't bring up.   
Louis: Screw Jessica. And things was Harry are beyond repair. Also just because you don't actually say it, doesn't mean you're not bringing it up.  
Liam: who else knows about it?  
Louis: Liam would you please stop?  
Liam: as one of your best friends I care about you I can't just leave it alone  
Louis: You're the only one who knows.


	9. Help

[1:00am]  
Louis: Are you awake?  
Zayn: hey Lou I am. Is everything okay?  
Louis: No.  
Zayn: what's wrong?  
Louis: Can I call you?  
Zayn: Of course babe


	10. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning: Mentions depression and self-harm/cutting**

[1:04am]  
Incoming Call From: Zayn  
Zayn: "What's wrong Louis?"  
Louis: "I'm having a bad night. I can't sleep. My mind keeps racing with bad thoughts and I can't make them go away."  
Zayn: "What kind of bad thoughts?"  
Louis: "Depressing thoughts."  
Zayn: "Does this happen a lot?"  
Louis: "Almost every night."  
Zayn: "How do you usually stop the bad thoughts?"  
Louis:"...I don't want to talk about that."  
Zayn: "I think it would help if you did though."  
Louis:"Maybe."  
Zayn: "How do you handle the bad thoughts Louis?"  
Louis: "Promise you won't be mad?"  
Zayn: "Louis, you're worrying me."  
Louis: "Promise? I don't want you to be disappointed."  
Zayn: "I promise. You can tell me it's okay."  
Louis: "Sometimes to deal with it I hurt myself. It's no big deal though. Please don't worry."  
Zayn: "What do you mean you hurt yourself?."  
Louis: "I cut myself."  
Zayn: "Louis. I had no idea."  
Louis: (crying) "I know it's bad but it helps even if only for a few minutes."  
Zayn: "It doesn't help in the long run Louis, it's not worth it."  
Louis: "You think I don't know that, Zayn? That's like if I told you smoking was bad for you. You obviously know that, but you don't care. I have to do it. I don't have any other way to cope."  
Zayn: "Lou, how long have you been cutting?"  
Louis: "A month."  
Zayn: "How has nobody noticed?"  
Louis: "I'm good at hiding it. I don't cut where anyone will see."  
Zayn: "Louis I think you should get help. This isn't something to treat lightly. Am I the only one who knows?"  
Louis: "Liam knows. He promised not to tell. I need you to promise the same. And even though Liam knows, you can't talk to him about it. Promise."  
Zayn: "Only if you get help Louis. Will you do that for me?"  
Louis: "I'm fine Zayn, I don't need help."  
Zayn: "Louis if you don't get help, I will tell someone who will get it for you."  
Louis: "Fine! I'll talk to someone."  
Zayn: "Okay, then I promise not to tell anyone. You better keep your word though."  
Louis: "Zayn?"  
Zayn: "Yes?"  
Louis: "Thanks."  
Zayn: "For what?"  
Louis: "Just for calling me. I really needed it right now."  
Zayn: "Of course Lou, I love you. Go to sleep, you'll feel a little better in the morning."  
Louis: "I love you too, Z. Goodnight."  
[1:37am]  
Call Ended


	11. Leave Me Alone

[1:59am]  
Jessica: Hi  
Louis: Delete my number.   
Jessica: I just want to talk Louis   
Louis: And I just want you to leave me alone.   
Jessica: That's really rude of you!   
Louis: I don't really care.   
Jessica: Why'd you give me your number if you didn't want to see each other again?   
Louis: I'm done having this conversation. Goodnight.


	12. Not Right Now

[2:11am]  
Incoming Call From: Harry  
Call Ignored 

[2:13am]  
Harry: Why'd you ignore me?  
Louis: I can't talk right now.  
Harry: You never can.  
[2:19am]  
Louis: Harry, I don't want to deal with this right now.  
Harry: Deal with what?  
Louis: You. I can't handle another fight right now.  
Harry: Then let's talk it out without getting in a fight  
Louis: Please leave me alone.  
[2:23am]  
Harry: Fine. Goodnight.


	13. Spill

[2:25am]  
Incoming Call From: Harry  
Liam: "Hello?"  
Harry: "Liam, it's Harry. I hope I didn't wake you up."  
Liam: "No, I was about to go to bed though. What's up?"  
Harry: "Is everything alright with Louis?"  
Liam: "Why do you ask?"  
Harry: "I texted him and he seems upset."  
Liam: "Well you guys aren't on good terms of course he's gonna sound upset."  
Harry: "But it's more than that."  
Liam: "What do you mean?"  
Harry: "He just hasn't been himself lately and I'm worried."  
Harry: "He would tell us if something was wrong, wouldn't he?"  
Liam: "Stop worrying."  
Harry: "Has he said anything to you about being depressed or anything?"  
Liam: "If you really must know, he has spoken to me about it, but you don't have to worry about Harry. I promise, he'll be okay. I'm taking care of it."  
Harry: "This is such a mess. I should have never said those things to him."  
Liam: "Harry, don't blame yourself for what he did."  
Harry: "I know, but I wish I wouldn't have gotten so mad about it. I miss him. I just miss my best friend. He won't even look at me anymore. I should apologize."  
Liam: "You guys should definitely talk about it. Not tonight though. Go to sleep and call him in the morning. Goodnight."  
Harry: "Goodnight."

[2:39am]  
Call Ended


	14. You're Not Sorry

[2:45am]  
Harry: I'm so sorry Lou  
[2:48am]  
Louis: I thought I told you to leave me alone?  
Harry: You did but I just need you to know I'm sorry I never meant to make you feel bad.  
Louis: Who says I feel bad? I'm fine without you as my friend. Which is all that we were. Friends.  
Harry: Stop lying to yourself  
Louis: Shut up, I'm sick of you talking to me like that.  
Harry: Maybe we should talk in the morning. This will only lead to another fight. Goodnight.  
Louis: Fine, we'll talk in the morning. But if you expect an apology, you're not going to get it.  
[10:06am]  
Harry: Are you awake? Can we talk now?  
Louis: I will text you, but don't even think about calling me.  
Harry: Okay so here's what i meant last night. You're not okay and you suck at hiding it. I know you're hurting.  
Louis: You have a lot of nerve pretending to care about me!  
Harry: I do care!  
Louis: Funny, I don't remember you caring when you told me to go to hell.  
Harry: I shouldn't have said that. That's what I'm apologizing for  
Louis: Apology is not accepted.  
Harry: Stop being so petty! You should be the one apologizing to me!  
Louis: I will not apologize.  
Harry: You hurt me and so I said nasty things to you. We're both in the wrong, but I'm offering you an apology. It honestly makes no difference to me if you accept it or not. You're just hurting yourself  
[10:30am]  
Harry: Your problems aren't going to go away by ignoring them  
[10:37am]  
Louis: Do you actually still care about me?  
Harry: is this a trick question? If I say no then you will flip on me. If I say yes then you will accuse me of lying.  
Louis: Just answer the question!  
Harry: yes  
[10:46am]  
Harry: Why are you ignoring me again? At this point I question if trying to repair our friendship is even worth it since you clearly don't care to fix this. But you were my best friend for 5 years and I'm not about to stop caring for you  
Louis: Were? As in not anymore.  
Harry: I can't be best friends with someone like you anymore. I'm done.  
[10:50am]  
Louis: I don't need you anyway.  
Harry: Don't act like you're fine.  
Louis: I am fine.  
[10:59am]  
Harry: I know for a fact that you aren't  
Louis: What do you mean? Did Liam tell you? I'm gonna wring his neck!  
Harry: that's not important. What's important is that I want you to be happy and I'm sorry for saying those things to you. I hope you feel better xx  
Louis: Please stop. I won't forgive you that easily.  
Harry: I'm so sorry Lou!  
Louis: What you said really hurt me Harry.  
Harry: And I feel terrible about that. But what you did hurt me more.  
Louis: I have to go now. We're done with this conversation. Don't bring it up again.


	15. Traitor

[11:05am]  
Louis: I hope you die alone with nothing but your 200 cats.  
Liam: what the hell?  
Louis: U TOLD HARRY U SWORE U WOUDLNT TELL ANYONE N U KNEW HARRY WAS THE ONE PERSON WHO COULDNT NO  
Liam: wow you really are mad you didn't even use proper grammer  
Louis: ITS GRAMMAR ASSHOLE  
Liam: Louis I'm sorry but he was worried.  
Louis: THERE IS NO EXCUSE LIAM I CANT BELIEVE U WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THAT  
Liam: you told me something you promised Zayn you wouldn't tell.  
Louis: THERES A DIFFERENCE!  
Liam: Louis I told him because he was concerned for your emotional state. You actually had no good reason to tell me what Zayn told you not to tell me.  
Louis: Zayn told me something you already knew. Obviously you knew that Zayn and you slept together.  
Liam: wait! He told you about that?!??!  
Louis: I KNEW IT!  
Liam: don't change the subject. This is about you wanting to murder me because I told harry you were depressed.  
Louis: WE CAN GET BACK TO THAT. THIS IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT. YOU. AND. ZAYN. HAD. SEX.  
Liam: no we didn't  
Louis: Prove it.  
Liam: how would I prove that?  
Louis: you're right, you can't. Because it's true.  
Liam: you are a tiny evil man  
Louis: So you admit it?  
Liam: never. Now back to the harry thing. Harry called me last night and asked me if you were okay and I said you were fine and he said that he thought you were depressed and if you ever mentioned that and I said yes you mentioned it but I told him not to worry because it was taken care of (which was a lie because you still refuse to get help) I didn't tell him about the other thing.  
Louis: I told Zayn about it. But I'm sure you knew that since you're shagging him and all  
Liam: oi would you shut up!  
Louis: The more you deny it, the more obvious it gets.  
Liam: I'm blocking your number


	16. Not Much Of A Secret

[11:31am]  
Liam: Louis is on to us and I'm freaking out  
Zayn: why do you think he's on to us?  
Liam: cuz he made a passing joke about u and I sleeping together and I didn't realize it was a joke and asked him how he knew. Then I found out it was a joke n tried to play it off but he's not buying it  
Zayn: haha I always knew your lack of understanding sarcasm would get you in trouble Li  
Liam: so ur not mad?  
Zayn: I'm not mad love. It's not ur fault jokes go right over your head  
Liam: why do u keep calling me love?  
Zayn: I guess it's a habit  
Liam: it's been 6 months  
Zayn: some habits are hard to break.  
Liam: I miss you. I wish you never left.  
Zayn: You know I had to. I couldn't handle it anymore.  
Liam: handle being around me?  
Zayn: I couldn't handle any of it. We've talked about this Liam. But mostly, I couldn't handle being around you. I felt so guilty.  
Liam: Don't play the victim. You're the one who was cheating on your girlfriend. And you took advantage of me because you knew I wouldn't be able to resist you. You made me fall for you and made me think u were leaving her, but then u proposed to her. I had to end it after that.  
Zayn: When you did I was heart broken.  
Liam: Don't pretend I meant shit to u  
[11:53am]  
Zayn: I should've told you this a long time ago but I was never going to marry her.  
Liam: What the fuck are you talking about Zayn?  
Zayn: We were never intending to get married.  
[12:09pm]  
Zayn: Li?


	17. A Little Too Late

[12:13pm]  
Liam: Explain  
Zayn: Management thought getting engaged would be good publicity for both our albums and tours and stop all of the cheating rumors. We told them we weren't ready, but they insisted. It got us to evaluate our relationship and we realized we were growing apart so we broke up. Modest didn't care though. They just said we couldn't go public with our breakup because Little Mix would lose sales. So since then, our relationship was just a PR stunt. Perrie and I had broken up before you and I started fooling around.  
Liam: AND YOU NEVER ONCE THOUGHT TO TELL ME THIS?  
Zayn: I signed a non-disclosure, I couldn't.  
Liam: SO YOU THOUGHT IT BETTER FOR ME TO FEEL GUILTY?  
Zayn: Li, I'm sorry. I had no choice  
Liam: You should have told me! Nobody would have known if you told me!  
Zayn: Liam I know you're mad but can you try to see where I'm coming from?  
Liam: I don't think I can forgive you for this.  
Zayn: Liam, please understand  
Liam: there's nothing to understand Zayn. You let me think that you and I were cheating and you saw how bad it made me feel. You also knew I was too gone for you even though you didn't feel the same.   
Zayn: My feelings for you were real.  
Liam: You should have told me that a long time ago. You made me think you loved her. if you really had feelings for me, you would have told me the truth.  
Zayn: That's not fair. I was legally obligated to fake being engaged.  
Liam: I don't wanna hear it. You got out of your recording contract just fine you could've gotten out of this one too  
Zayn: I'm so sorry  
Liam: Go wallow in your own self pity. I don't care anymore  
Zayn: So that's it? Just like that you don't love me anymore  
Liam: pretty much, I actually have respect for myself now and i'm not going to be part of your little game anymore.  
Zayn: Liam, please don't cut me off  
[Message unable to send]  
Zayn: Did you block me?! After all we've been through and you just block me?  
[Message unable to send]  
Zayn: I'm so sorry Li. I would do anything to go back and fix it. I wish I would have told you  
[Message unable to send]  
Zayn: I really did love you. I still do.  
[Message unable to send]


	18. The One With Niall

[5:22pm]  
Liam: You will never believe what Zayn just told me!  
Niall: good or bad?  
Liam: Absolutely terrible.  
Niall: Is he alright?  
Liam: Unfortunately  
Niall: #OhNoLiam??? What did he do this time?  
Liam: This is no time for jokes.  
Niall: Sorry m8. Tell me what's wrong?  
Liam: He just told me that Perrie and him were broken up the entire time him and I were fooling around!! He wasn't even really engaged to her! After they broke up, management made them pretend to be engaged! He never thought once to tell me Ni!!!  
Niall: that is the most fucked up thing I've ever heard! I've had enough of him breaking your heart Li. If you want me to drive over to your flat with tubs of ice cream and superhero movies again I will.  
Liam: I just don't know what to think anymore Niall. I'm so done with his shit. I even blocked his number.  
Niall: Good for you. Now what do you say I come over?  
Liam: That would be great Nialler, thanks. I don't know what I would do without you.  
Niall: Anytime m8 love ya!


	19. Don't Expect Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, I just wanted to get something up. Hope you like it! I'm gonna put another fic on soon that I started on wattpad.

[12:00am]  
Zayn: I can't get a hold of Liam...  
Niall: prob cuz he blocked you asshole  
Zayn: um...wtf? Are u mad at me?  
Niall: I've had enough of you shit rn. Liam is a mess. Leave him alone. I know what happened w u2  
Zayn: please don't hate me ni I never meant to hurt him  
Niall: well u did. U better make it right or I s2g  
Zayn: I don't know how i can if he blocked me.  
Niall: u better find a way


	20. I Know I Messed Up

[10:36pm]  
Louis: Did you mean all those terrible things you said to me?  
Harry: I was so pissed and hurt that I lashed out. The words felt true to be at the time. You lead me on and it was really uncalled for. How can you figure out your feelings for me if you're sleeping with someone else?  
Louis: Harry I wasn't leading you on! I told you so many times that it didn't mean anything. It's not my fault you let your feelings get in the way!  
Harry: Friends with benefits never works out, someone always ends up getting hurt. You should have told me right away you didn't have feelings for me instead of stringing me along when I told you I did.  
Louis: I told you I didn't know how I felt. That was true. I wasn't stringing you along.  
Harry: Instead of taking time to figure it out, you went and slept with someone else.  
Louis: I didn't do that to hurt you Harry. I was confused and wanted to forget about my problems for a night. I'm sorry.  
Harry: I appreciate you saying sorry, but that's not enough here. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?  
Louis: I'm so sorry I messed up, but I didn't mean to hurt you. You were trying to hurt me though. You told me you regretted ever being my friend and that I was a lost cause. That's a fucked up thing to say.  
Harry: I shouldn't have said that Louis, I wasn't thinking I was just so mad.  
Louis: I was scared, that's why I did it.  
Harry: What do you mean?  
Louis: I realized that I started to fancy you and that terrified me, so I got smashed and slept with someone to convince myself I didn't care. It didn't work, all it did was make you hate me. Can't we just start over?


	21. Now You Tell Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been forever! I was so busy with work and school and other things that I didn't have time. I also didn't really know where to go with this story. But here's the next chapter, I know it's short I just wanted to get something up.

[8:27am]  
Harry: I thought about what you said. I'm not going to forgive you right now, but I'm willing to put aside this fued we have going on.  
Louis: Really? That means a lot actually. I feel so guilty about what I did I just want to fix it.  
Harry: I know you do. That's why we should be friends again. It won't be the same and I don't really trust you that much but being on bad terms is exhausting.  
Louis: I don't blame you for what you said to me. You had every right to be mad.  
Harry: Why didn't you tell me you had feelings?  
Louis: I was scared. I didn't know what that meant for our friendship.  
Harry: I liked you back though.  
Louis: How was I to know if they were real feelings? Or if you just thought you liked me because we were sleeping together.  
Harry: It wasn't about the sex. The feelings were real.  
Louis: Can we just focus on repairing our friendship right now? I don't want to talk about how I felt about you.  
Harry: Sorry, you're right let's just work on being friends again.  
Louis: I'm really glad we're on speaking terms again.  
Harry: Me too.


	22. Group Text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two chapters in one night! I felt so bad for leaving you guys hanging for like a year or whatever it was. By the way if you started reading this a while ago you should probably reread it because I edited the previous chapters and took out a character/plot point.

[11:53am]  
[Liam, Niall, Harry, Louis]  
Louis: GUYS  
Liam: ?  
Harry: What?  
Niall: OMG HARRY AND LOUIS YOU GUYS ARE TALKING AGAIN?!  
Harry: Who said we stopped talking?  
Liam: seriously? We all know you stopped talking.  
Niall: yeah but we don't even know why? Care to explain?  
Louis: None of your business! ANYWAY what I was going to tell you is that I accidentally knocked over one of my AMA's and it broke.  
Harry: That seems like a metaphor  
Liam: How would that be a metaphor?  
Niall: @Louis at least you have more lol  
Harry: It's a metaphor for how our band was kind of unraveling the past few month.....not to sound dark  
Niall: Damn  
Liam: You're not wrong.  
Niall: Yeah I mean Zayn leaving, Harry and Louis fighting, and everything that happened with Zayn and Liam.  
Harry: Zayn and Liam? What about them?  
Liam: Niall wtf? What do you mean? I have no idea what you're talking about.  
Niall: What you told me and Louis.  
Louis: Keep me out of this.  
Harry: Why don't I know what you're talking about?  
Liam: There's nothing to talk about...  
Louis: For God's sake tell him! Now he feels left out.  
Harry: Don't patronize me!  
Louis: I'm not! Don't be so fucking sensitive.  
Niall: @Louis and Harry wtf stop fighting what even happened with you two? Wait why am I the only one who doesn't know what happened with you?  
Liam: What happened to us? We used to be so drama free....  
Louis: What happened is that four out of five of us are gay and hooked up with each other.  
Niall: WAIT WHAT  
Harry: Four? Who are the other two? Wtf?  
Liam: LOUIS  
Harry: Liam you're gay?  
Liam: NO  
Niall: Well it's not me. WAIT I KNOW ZAYN AND LIAM HOOKED UP BUT HARRY AND LOUIS? IS THAT WHY YOU'RE FIGHTING?  
Harry: ZAYN AND LIAM HOOOKED UP?  
Louis: Is nobody going to acknowledge that I just came out?  
Liam: No, we're not because you outed me, Zayn, and Harry in the process.  
Harry: Liam you know we accept you no matter what!  
Niall: @Liam Harry wasn't in the closet in the first place so Louis didn't out him. So Louis and Harry? Who would have guessed? Actually we all guessed.  
Louis: Can we please drop it? Liam sorry I didn't mean to out you.  
Liam: I just would have liked to tell what happened with Zayn on my own time. Also I'm not gay. I'm not straight either though. I'm not sure what I am.  
Harry: Maybe you're pan?  
[12:48pm]   
Louis: I want to say this to in front of everyone because I feel it will mean more. Harry I'm really sorry I led you on and I knew the entire time I liked you I was just in denial and that wasn't right to do what I did. I'm sorry.  
Niall: To think this conversation started about Louis' AMA breaking.  
Harry: Louis I don't know what to say. You've already apologized.  
Louis: Because I'm incredibly sorry. I wish I could do it all over again. Please say you forgive me  
Niall: I'm not sure what exactly happened but please make up guys  
Liam: Harry give him another chance. He really is sorry  
Harry: I don't know. Our friendship is still a bit shaky. I don't know if I can trust you Louis.  
Louis: I understand. I fucked up and I can't undo what I did.  
Harry: Can we please talk about this privately.  
Niall: Awkward.  
Liam: Niall you're not helping.


	23. Give It Up

[1:00pm]  
Louis: You're upset that I told the guys aren't you?  
Harry: No, I don't care if they know.  
Louis: How many times do I have to say sorry before you believe me?  
Harry: I believe you, but that doesn't mean I trust you.  
Louis: I don't understand how you find me hard to trust now.  
Harry: You lied to me!  
Louis: I didn't lie, I withheld the truth.  
Harry: You and I both know that doesn't make it any better  
Louis: I know. I just want you to give me a chance to show you I can be trusted.  
Harry: How do you plan on doing that?  
Louis: Give me another chance Harry.  
Harry: You had a chance.  
Louis: You can't expect to find love if you never give people a second chance!  
Harry: You had so many fucking years to do something about your feelings for me. You've had plenty of chances.  
Louis: I didn't have feelings for you until everything with us happened.  
Harry: You mean until we started fucking?  
Louis: Yes.  
Harry: That's what I was afraid of  
Louis: What's what you were afraid of?  
Harry: You don't actually have feelings for me. You just liked sleeping with me.  
Louis: That's not true.  
Harry: We're done talking about this Louis. If we are going to salvage our friendship we need to stop bringing this up. From now on all of that didn't happen. Don't ever bring it up again.  
Louis: Harry, we need to talk about it.  
Harry: We have been and it hasn't fixed anything. Do you want me in your life or not?  
Louis: Of course I do!  
Harry: The only way I will be in your life is as a friend. There's no way we will ever be a couple. Accept that.  
[1:47pm]  
Louis: I love you. I just need you to know that.  
Harry: Don't.  



	24. Nosey

[5:31pm]  
Niall: So you and Louis?  
Harry: Yeah.  
Niall: Why did no one tell me?  
Harry: Louis told Liam. I didn't want to be the one to tell you guys and out Louis.  
Niall: So I guess I wasn't supposed to know either?  
Harry: I don't mind that you know.  
Niall: So what exactly happened between you guys? I assume it didn't end well with the way you guys haven't been on good terms.  
Harry: Has anyone ever told you that you're really nosy?  
Niall: Sorry, it's none of my business.  
Harry: It started a few months ago. Louis and I would get drunk together and then mess around. It kept happening until one night we actually had sex. At first, we only did it when we were drunk. In the morning we would blame it on being smashed and would swear it would never happen again. But we started having sex when we were sober. We agreed to being friends with benefits. I only agreed to it because I was in love with him. So i told him I was falling for him and he told me he needed time to figure out how he felt. And then he started sleeping with some girl when he was supposed to be sorting out his feelings for me.  
Niall: That's why you guys aren't friends anymore? Louis didn't really do anything wrong. I mean it was kinda low that he started sleeping with someone else right away, but it sounds to me like he was just confused.  
Harry: He led me on Niall. That's not okay.  
Niall: You've had most of your life to come to terms with being gay and you've liked Louis for years. Louis probably considered himself straight or at least hadn't come to terms with liking guys. Can you blame him for freaking out when he realized he might have feelings for a guy?  
Harry: I've never thought of it like that.  
Niall: I'm sure he's going through enough right now. Cut him some slack. He didn't mean to hurt you and he's clearly sorry. You guys would be so good together and you didn't even give him a chance to show what a good boyfriend he could be.  
Harry: You're right.  
Niall: I always am.  
Harry: But don't you think we should fix our friendship first?  
Niall: First you need to tell him how you feel and give him a real chance. Everything will fall into place after that.  
Harry: Thank you so much for the advice Niall. xx  
Niall: That's what I'm here for. Love you mate!


	25. Elevator

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback which is why it is such a long chapter. It is not written in the text message format as the rest of the story. Comment if you want more flashbacks of what happened between Zayn and Liam and Louis and Harry!

*Flashback*  
As another award show after party wrapped up, Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis climbed into the back of their limo to be taken back to their hotel. Harry had gone home with some girl. At least that's what he will say they next day, even though everyone had seen him leave with some brunette guy. At this point in the night, after the casual drinking through the award show and the significantly heavier drinking at the after party, everyone was beyond drunk.  
"How much do you guys wanna bet the paps will get a shot of Harry leaving the party with that guy?" Louis spoke up, breaking the much needed silence in the car. Everyone rolled their eyes, except for Zayn who settled on smacking Louis' arm. It was an unsaid rule that until Harry actually came out to them, they wouldn't mention that they already knew.  
The remainder of the ride to the hotel was relatively silent. When they made it into the lobby of their hotel, no one was around other than the lady at the desk and the doorman. Zayn pushed the button for the elevator and they waited patiently for it to arrive. However, Niall decided he couldn't wait ten more seconds for the elevator so he challenged the boys to a race.  
"Bet you Louis and I can take the stairs and still get there before you," Niall proposed to the group.  
"Niall, you're crazy! We're on the top floor," Louis countered. Niall just raised an eyebrow at him as if to remind Louis that they are both athletes. Louis shrugged and they made off down the hall to the stairs.  
Zayn and Liam exchanged a humorous look before Liam shouted after them, "You two have fun losing!" Zayn chuckled at Liam's attempt at trash talk.  
The elevator finally arrived two full minutes later and they stepped inside as Zayn pushed the button for the 30th floor. The second the doors closed, Liam hit the stop button and the elevator stayed on the first floor.  
"Liam, what the fuck was that for?" Zayn sneered as he gave Liam a confused look. Liam didn't say anything. Instead he started walking towards Zayn until he had him crowded against the wall.  
"Liam, what are you doing?" Again, Liam said nothing. This time he put both hands on either side of Zayn's head and rested their foreheads together. Zayn was about to ask again what Liam was doing, but before he could get any words out, Liam crashed their lips together. Zayn froze in shock. After a second or two passed, Zayn pushed Liam back just enough to break the kiss.  
"Liam, what about the contest?" Zayn lamely spat out. Liam cocked his head and raise one eyebrow.  
"Is that really what you're worried about?" Liam questioned, making an effort to kiss Zayn again. Zayn kept turning his head so Liam would miss.  
"I have a girlfriend Liam." Zayn mumbled back as an answer to Liam's question. Zayn tried to step away from Liam, but Liam gently placed a hand on his arm to keep him there.  
"Don't you wanna kiss me?" Liam asked. A look of contemplation passed over Zayn's face before he bit his lip and nodded. That was all Liam needed to know before he planted his lips on Zayn for the second time that night. Maybe it was the alcohol impairing Zayn's judgement, or maybe it was the hot feeling that shot through his body as Liam moved his hands from the wall to Zayn's hair, but Zayn gave in and kissed Liam back.  
The kiss wasn't sweet and tender the way a first kiss is supposed to be. It was messy, but hot and Zayn found himself wanting more. He opened his mouth when Liam tried to deepen the kiss. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam's neck and in response Liam put his hands on Zayn's hips, dangerously close to his ass. Liam broke the kiss long enough to tell Zayn to jump, which he did, wrapping his legs around Liam's waist. Liam pressed him further into the wall to help keep him up, but mostly to get as much contact between them as possible.  
They made out for a minute or maybe five before it was quite clear to both of them that they wanted something more.  
"Upstairs. Now," Zayn mumbled against Liam's lips. Liam smirked into the kiss before asking Zayn why he was in a hurry to go upstairs. Zayn broke the kiss, but before Liam could protest, he started pressing kisses onto Liam's neck, slowly making his way to Liam's ear.  
"Want you to take me to your room so you can fuck me," He whispered seductively in Liam's ear. A shiver shot down Liam's spine as he reconnected their lips.  
Without stopping the kiss, Zayn reached behind Liam to hit the stop button again, putting the elevator into motion. They continued to make out until they reached their floor. Before the door could open, they fixed their hair and jackets which were messed up from heavily making out. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open revealing Louis and Niall sitting on the floor in front of them. When they realized Zayn and Liam were in the elevator they stood up with confused and worried looks on their faces.  
"What they hell took so long? We've been up here waiting for three minutes. How did you not beat us?" Louis demanded. Liam and Zayn exchanged nervous glances before Liam spoke up.  
"We were waiting for like five minutes for the elevator. It must have been stuck or something." Liam explained. The excuse didn't seem very believable, but Louis and Niall either bought it, or were too tired to care. The two unsuspecting lads shrugged and made their way to their respective rooms.  
"You guys owe us twenty bucks! We won!" Louis yelled behind him to Liam and Zayn.  
"There was never an official bet!" Zayn countered back before looking back at Liam with a hungry look in his eyes. "That was close. Now take me to bed."  
Liam looked around the hallway to make sure the coast was clear and then crashed their lips together again. He walked Zayn backwards a few steps to his room and pressed him up against the door. If the moan Zayn let out, had anything to say about it, Zayn wanted him bad and he wanted him now. Liam fumbled in his pocket for the key to his room all while his lips remained firmly planted on Zayn's. He clumsily swiped the key card and led Zayn into his room to the bed.  
***  
The next morning, Zayn woke up with a killer headache in a hotel room he was pretty sure wasn't his, although he couldn't be sure since all hotel rooms look the same to him. He heard the shower running, realizing he wasn't alone. Zayn looked around the room again and thought he remembered his room with the door on the opposite side of the room. He was confused; if he wasn't in his own hotel room, whose room was he in? He saw Liam's suit jacket hung over a chair and a condom wrapper laying on the floor. As he tried to fit the pieces together, Liam stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. The events of last night suddenly rushed back to him.  
"Fuck." Zayn mumbled. However, it was loud enough for Liam to hear him.  
"That's exactly what we did last night." Liam smirked. Zayn shot up in bed and grabbed his boxers which had been thrown carelessly on the ground the night before.  
"Liam, this is serious! We slept together last night!" Zayn shouted in despair, resting his head against his hands, "No one can know about this."  
"Sure, it didn't mean anything anyway, we were just drunk and horny last night." Liam clipped at Zayn. He then dropped his towel and walked over to his suitcase to grab some clothes.  
"Put some clothes on Liam!" Zayn shouted then continued quieter, "I can't believe I let you fuck me! What the hell was I thinking! Why would you even come onto me?"  
"You're right Zayn, I shouldn't have done that. You have a girlfriend and I kissed you. But, you kissed me back and you wanted to sleep together, you suggested it. So don't blame me for this." Liam angrily answered as he finished putting on clothes.  
"Why did you kiss me though?" Zayn demanded, not moving from his spot on the bed.  
"Because I was drunk and lonely and you're hot as fuck. I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, I crossed a line by kissing you." Liam admitted to Zayn.  
"Don't feel bad, let's just forget about it. It won't happen again so it doesn't matter. Perrie will never find out." Zayn reassured.  
"Yeah, it won't happen again." Liam promised. However, they both knew quite well they wouldn't keep that promise.  
*End of flashback*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget, as Zayn admitted earlier in the story, he wasn't actually dating Perrie at this point, but couldn't tell anyone. Let me know in the comments if you enjoyed this flashback. Should I do a flashback for Louis and Harry's big fight?


	26. In The Middle

[8:38pm]  
Zayn: Can you do me a favor?  
Louis: Sure, what?  
Zayn: Can you tell Liam to unblock me? I need to talk to him.  
Louis: Why did he block you?  
Zayn: It's a long story.  
Louis: Okay, i'll text him right now.  
**  
[8:44pm]  
Louis: Zayn wanted me to ask you to unblock him. Why did you block him?  
Liam: I'm not going to unblock him. He can fuck off!  
Louis: What did he do?  
Liam: As you've found out from the group chat, Zayn and I had sex. But it wasn't just once. We fell for each other but Zayn was dating Perrie. Then he proposed to her after making me think he was going to choose me.  
Louis: Why did you block him then? You knew he was with Perrie.  
Liam: He wasn't. They broke up before we started messing around and management made them pretend to still be together and eventually made them fake an engagement. But he didn't let me know that when I felt so guilty for cheating.  
Louis: You felt bad about cheating but still did anyway?  
Liam: I was in love with him. Haven't you done stupid things when you were in love with someone? Like Harry?  
Louis: Yes, I have.  
Liam: Did you just admit to being in love with Harry.  
Louis: I figured you knew that. Isn't it obvious? But anyway back to Zayn. I can see now why you blocked him! I can't believe he did that!  
Liam: I can't believe you're in love with Harry.  
Louis: Neither can I.  
Liam: I'm not going to unblock Zayn.  
Louis: Fair enough.  
**  
[9:02pm]  
Louis: He said no. I can't believe what you did to him.  
Zayn: Great, now you're also disappointed with me.  
Louis: Did you love Liam?  
Zayn: Yes, I still do and I'm so sorry I did that to him. I wish I could take it back so bad.  
Louis: I'm not disappointed. It was low what you did, but I did something low to someone I loved and I ended up losing them. I don't want that to happen with you and Liam. Is there anything I can do to help?  
Zayn: Who did you hurt?  
Louis: I hurt Harry. And then he hurt me and we stopped talking.  
Zayn: I didn't know you guys weren't talking anymore. Are you still best friends?  
Louis: I want to be, but Harry doesn't. We're trying to fix our friendship but he doesn't trust me anymore. I don't really want to go into any more details though.  
Zayn: Is this why you're depressed and cutting?  
Louis: I really don't want to talk about that. Please don't bring it up.  
Zayn: Sorry. Anyway back to the question you asked. Yes, there is something you can do to help. Can you tell Liam that it was always going to be him in the end and that I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't bring myself to because I was scared he would hate me. But the longer I waited the more he was going to hate me and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even bring myself to tell him when he broke up with me. I don't deserve him and I don't expect another chance I just want him to know I would kill to go back and be with him the right way. I feel so pathetic for the way I handled everything.  
Louis: Of course i'll tell him  
Zayn: Thank you so much!


	27. Tricking Liam

[9:45pm]  
Louis: Since you won't unblock Zayn, he wanted me to tell you that he would do anything to go back to the beginning and tell you the truth. He wanted to tell you but every day he waited it was harder to. He said he doesn't expect a second chance he just wants you to know he feels terrible about what he did.  
Liam: that's no excuse. He lied to me, I can't just get over that. I wish I could.  
***  
[9:58pm]  
Louis: He says he wishes he could forgive you but he can't.  
Zayn: I wish I could talk to him. I feel like if I apologized in person he would hear me out.  
Louis: Then meet up with him.  
Zayn: How? He blocked me and he wouldn't agree to it anyway.  
Louis: Then I will make plans with him and you will come with me but he won't know I'm bringing you.  
Zayn: Would you really do that for me?  
Louis: Of course Z! I'll text him now. When will you be back in the country?  
Zayn: I'm actually flying back to see my family on Saturday so how about Sunday?  
Louis: Sounds good. I'll let you know.  
***  
[11:53pm]  
Louis: Hey wanna come over Sunday and watch the game?  
Liam: Sure can I invite Niall?  
Louis: That's fine.  
Liam: What about Harry? I miss us all being in the same room.  
Louis: Harry doesn't wanna watch the game.  
Liam: Since when does Harry not wanna watch Man U play?  
Louis: Since I decided I don't want him there.  
Liam: I thought you were trying to get back on his good side?  
Louis: Good point Payno. Fine he can come too.  
Be here an hour before the game.  
***  
[12:22am]  
Louis: He's gonna be at my house at 4. And he insisted on inviting Niall and Harry. Sorry about that.  
Zayn: It's fine! I miss them! Can you tell Niall and Harry I'm going to be there?  
Louis: I'll start a group message.


	28. Bitter Much?

[9:05am] Louis, Liam, Niall, Harry  
Liam: Hey lads! Louis' house Sunday for the game?  
Niall: As long as there's beer I'm there!  
Harry: Sounds good.  
Louis: See you guys at 4pm!  
***  
[10:42am] Louis, Zayn, Niall, Harry  
Harry: ????  
Niall: why are we in a group message with zayn?  
Zayn: Thanks guys, I feel welcomed!  
Harry: Louis wtf? Why did you add us in a text? And where is Liam?  
Louis: Don't add Liam.  
Zayn: Again, thanks for making me feel welcome....  
Harry: I'm sorry, I didn't know you still thought you were a part of this friendship!  
Louis: Harry! Don't talk to him like that.  
Harry: Louis! Don't tell me what to do.  
Niall: Will you two stop fighting?! If I wanted to hear two people fighting all the time I'd move back in with my parents!  
Zayn: I realize I haven't talked to you guys in a while I'm sorry for that. But I still care about you all!  
Harry: You haven't even texted me since you left. How was I supposed to think you cared?!  
Zayn: I know and I feel so bad for that.  
Harry: You haven't talked to any of us actually.  
Louis: He's talked to me and Liam and Niall  
Niall: only because I was yelling at him.  
Harry: Why haven't you talked to me?  
Zayn: I'm sorry. I have no excuse. I don't know what to say.  
Louis: Guys, it sucks he did that but can we please just move past that. I made this group message to tell you guys that Zayn will be there on Sunday BUT DON'T TEL LIAM.  
Harry: I guess I can get over it. But only because I miss you Zayn and I'm tired of being on bad terms with everyone.  
Zayn: Thanks H that means a lot.  
Niall: Why can't we tell Liam?  
Zayn: Because he blocked me and now he hates me and I need to talk to him. The only way to do that is if he doesn't know I'll be there.  
Niall: Does this have to do with you and him fucking?  
Louis: They both know.  
Zayn: Will you guys just help me out? I love him but he won't hear me out.  
Harry: You love him?! That's so cute! You guys would be so cute together!  
Niall: That's funny cuz it's what I used to think about you and Louis.  
Harry: Fuck off Niall!  
Louis: Screw you Harry! We would have been so cute together!  
Harry: Maybe you should have figured that out BEFORE you slept with someone else.  
Louis: My God, You act like I cheated on you!  
Niall: Enough!  
Zayn: Do they do this when you guys all hang out?  
Niall: I don't know. We don't all hang out. This will be the first time in a while.  
Zayn: What's happened to this group?  
Harry: We were fine until you left!  
Louis: I think Harry is still bitter.  
Niall: What gave it away?  
Harry: Shut up. I'll see you guys Sunday.


	29. Tired Of Talking

[12:00pm]  
Niall: I'm all for you trying to fix things with Liam but I still hate you for what you did to him.  
Zayn: Fair enough.  
Niall: Okay to be honest I don't hate you. Please try to fix this.  
Zayn: I will I promise. I miss you all.  
Niall: I hope Sunday goes well.  
Zayn: Me too.  
***  
[5:37pm]  
Louis: Can we please not fight on Sunday?  
Harry: I can't make any promises.  
Louis: Aren't you tired of fighting?  
Harry: Honestly I'm sick of fighting with you.  
Louis: Then let's stop.  
Harry: It's not that easy. I feel like you don't care or understand how much you hurt me.  
Louis: Of course I care!  
Harry: Can we just start over?  
Louis: I can't just forget that you love me.  
Harry: Well I can't help it. How could I not?  
Louis: I can give you a 10 page essay on why I'm the opposite of lovable.  
Harry: And I would write a 20 page paper disproving yours.  
Louis: That's so cheesy.  
Harry: Sorry.  
Louis: Don't be. I love how cheesy you are.  
Harry: Maybe I overreacted.  
Louis: About what?  
Harry: You sleeping with her. I kind of get why you did it.  
Louis: You know how you said it wouldn't help me figure out how I felt about you? It did.   
Harry: I think we should talk about this in person.   
Louis: I'll talk to you Sunday.


	30. Unblock

[2:36pm]  
Liam: I unblocked you. I still don't want to talk to you though.   
Zayn: I understand.   
***  
[2:58pm] Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam  
Liam: Guys I just met this amazing girl!   
Harry: What's her name?  
Niall: What about Zayn?  
Liam: Her name is Sarah. And what about him?  
Niall: Nothing. Never mind.   
Louis: Don't you think it's too soon to think about getting back out there?   
Liam: No, it's been months! I thought you guys would be happy for me!  
Harry: We are we just want to make sure you're not still heartbroken about Zayn.


	31. Found A Girl

[3:02pm]  
Louis: Just so you know, Liam met a girl.  
Zayn: Is it serious?  
Louis: I doubt it. He just met her. I think he still likes you though.  
Zayn: What makes you say that?  
Louis: I just have a feeling.  
Zayn: I hope lets me talk to him Sunday. Do you think I still have a chance to get back with him.  
Louis: Maybe.  
Zayn: Are you going to try to make up with Harry?  
Louis: We already made up we actually had a decent conversation without fighting yesterday. We're going to talk more about everything on Sunday  
Zayn: So what happened between you guys?  
Louis: Long story short, we were hooking up and he told me he liked me and I freaked out. So I slept with someone else and he got really mad at me and said really mean things and called off our friendship.  
Zayn: Holy shit, I had no idea. Do you like him back?  
Louis: Yes, I like him a lot, but I figured it out too late.  
Zayn: I'm sure it's not too late. Does he know you like him?  
Louis: Yeah.  
Zayn: Maybe he just needs some time. It's Harry though, he can't stay mad at you for long.  
Louis: I guess you're right. I'm going to tell him again on Sunday how I feel.


	32. The "Breakup"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback to how Liam and Zayn's affair ended. A few chapters back is the flashback of how it started, and everything in the middle is up to interpretation.

*Flashback*   
The sun was peaking through the curtains on the window as Zayn rolled over, putting his arm around the sleeping figure beside him. The movement caused Liam to stir and eventually wake up.   
“Good morning Li,” Zayn whispered and pressed a kiss to Liam’s bare shoulder. Liam smiled and rolled over, inviting Zayn to kiss him properly. Zayn’s kiss was soft and loving.   
Over the past few months, Liam had come to love the way Zayn made him feel. He loved the attention and affection that was showered on him. He also had started to love Zayn. For the most part, he had learned to repress the gnawing guilt about being with someone who was dating someone else. However, some nights, the guilt made him physically sick to his stomach. It was something he was willing to cope for because he knew, or at least hoped, that Zayn was going to break up with Perrie soon and stay with Liam.   
Liam smiled into the tender kiss and blurted out what he had been feeling for a few days now but had been to worried to actually say, afraid Zayn wouldn’t reciprocate. He still didn’t know where they stood and how Zayn actually felt about him. For all he knew, Zayn only slept with him because he was away from his girlfriend most of the time.   
“I think I love you Zayn,” Liam muttered, hardly audible. Zayn examined Liam’s face for a few beats with no indication on his face to what he would say next. Finally, he smiled, kissed Liam on the forehead and replied,   
“I think I love you too.”  
***  
Ever since that morning when Liam told Zayn he might love him, Liam let himself have hope that they would actually get together. It had been a few weeks since the exchange had taken place and there had been many more “I love you”s since. Liam felt they hit a breakthrough in their “relationship.” Zayn had started to treat Liam like they were actually dating and not just messing around. Zayn even once brought up their future together, mentioning how he always wanted kids and thought Liam would be a good father.   
Liam realized he had been naive when Zayn announced his engagement to Perrie in an interview. Zayn had told the lads he had some news and Liam had assumed the news was about breaking up with Perrie. After all, not even three hours before the interview, Zayn had been on his knees in front of Liam in the shower.   
Liam felt like such a fool when Zayn told the interviewer he had proposed to Perrie and Liam had to act like he was so excited and happy for his friend. It took all his willpower to not scream and Zayn and storm out. This is what he gets for sleeping with someone who had a girlfriend he supposes. Of course this wasn’t going to have a happy ending. At least not for Liam.   
***   
“What the hell?! You proposed to her? Why didn’t you tell me? I had to find out in front of all those people like that? I thought you loved me?” Liam screamed at Zayn once they were away from the interview and out of earshot from anyone around.   
Zayn looked at the ground, not even having the courtesy to look at Liam. This pissed Liam off even more. Zayn looked torn, sad, and ashamed. “I’m sorry Liam. It’s complicated. You should’ve known this would happen eventually.”  
“You should’ve told me you were going to propose to her! This should have ended a long time ago, but I was stupid enough to think you were going to choose me.”   
“We can’t be together Liam, at least not officially. But I do love you, and what we had was real. Please don’t let it end like this. I don’t want to let you go.”   
“Are you suggesting we keep this going? It was bad enough to cheat with someone who had a girlfriend. I’m not going to cheat with someone who is married. If you actually wanted me, you would have dumped her. This is over Zayn. The sex, the love, even our friendship is all over. I hope you have a good life being married to someone you don’t even love. Fuck you, I wish there was a way I could never see or talk to you again.” And with that, Liam stormed out of the room before Zayn could see him crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this story so far! I've only got a few more chapters left! I'm working on a bunch more stories after this though!


	33. Casual Conversation

[1:32 am]   
Louis: Omg this ubr guy is crzy! He tnks I'm form nsync!!!  
Harry: Are you drunk?  
Louis: only a lil  
Harry: why are you drunk texting me?  
Louis: because I new u think the uber thig was funy.  
Harry: How much did you drink?  
Louis: relax!! Im wit nisll, we only drunk a few shts   
Harry: Be careful okay?  
Louis: ok MOM ill b creful. God chil out   
\---------  
[1:40 am]   
Harry: Are you with Louis?  
Niall: yeh he's fine   
Harry: are you sure? I thought he didn't drink anymore?   
Niall: I know nothing of that....what I do know is he was really sad and needed to get out of the house so I took him out.   
Harry: and you thought drinking would solve his problems?  
Niall: Louis is an adult, he can make his own decisions.   
Harry: I know, I just worry after Liam told me about him being depressed.   
Niall: I think he'll be okay  
Harry: Did he say anything about me?  
Niall: I don't think I should say....  
Harry: um alright?  
Niall: Basically he said he misses you and he can't wait to make it right tomorrow.   
Harry: I miss him too.   
Niall: tell him that.   
\-------  
[1:55 am]  
Harry: I'll see you tomorrow Lou, get a good night rest so you're not hungover when we get there.   
Louis: Can u com ovrr begore t other I wan talk to u.   
Harry: Sure I'll be there an hour before everyone else.   
[2:10 am]   
Harry: I miss you   
Louis: >4   
Harry: What's that?  
Louis: a hart silly   
Harry: You're so drunk  
Louis: lol   
Harry: Goodnight love  
Louis: <3 I fixed it!!  
Harry: Good job I'm proud of you lol


	34. I Think Of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda NSFW. They don't do anything, but there's dirty talk. I'm not the best at writing what's between the dialog so I hope it makes sense. PS this is a flashback. This chapter is setting up for what happened between Louis and Harry. Also Happy Pride Month!

*Flashback*  
“I don’t like her Harry, why are you dating her?” Louis poked his toe at Harry’s foot under the table as they sat in Harry's kitchen drinking tea.  
It was the morning after a red carpet event and Louis always crashed in Harry’s guest room after. The after party had been wild, and Louis had been drinking more than usual. Niall and him were playing a drinking game they had just invented: take a shot every time Kendall and Harry expressed over the top public affection. The game only lasted about 25 minutes because Louis was on the verge of getting wasted.  
Louis didn’t actually hate Kendall, she was a really cool girl, but she was so affectionate with Harry that it made Louis want to vomit. He hated witnessing couples showing PDA.  
“Louis, I don’t need your permission to date someone. Besides, I didn’t like Danielle, but I still got along with her for your sake.” Harry countered back with a light shove of his foot back at Louis. Harry wasn't mad though, Louis could get away with saying pretty much anything to him.  
“That's because you're a good person. I just don't know how Kendall is your type. She’s so concerned with her image, and you couldn't care less about yours. Also her family is fucking crazy, how do you put up with that?" Louis had brought this point up many times, but Harry just shrugged. Louis continued, knowing Harry wouldn't get mad at him for talking shit about his girlfriend's family. "I mean her mom literally grabbed your ass last night like four times last night. I know because Niall and I took a shot every time she did.” Niall and Louis played a lot of drinking games last night. They had to space them out so Louis wouldn't get shitfaced, after all he was a lightweight. They also took a shot every time Liam glared at Perrie.  
“Her family is kinda odd, but I like her so leave her alone.” Harry feigned offense, but Louis knew he wasn't upset. Louis put his hands up in surrender as he stood from the table and went to make himself another cup of tea. He pointed to Harry's cup, silently questioning if he wanted more. Harry shook his head and leaned back farther in his chair.  
“She must be really good in bed for you to be able to put up with all that shit.” Louis joked as he poured a cup, making sure to leave plenty of room for milk and sugar. Harry scoffed from his chair at Louis' comment.  
“She’s a great person, that’s how I put up with it." Harry stood up from his chair and stood across from Louis, leaning on his kitchen island. Louis turned around after putting the milk in his tea. He took a sip from his cup then scrunched up his face at Harry in confusion.  
“Wait, is that your way of saying she’s not good in bed?” Louis questioned, his expression changing from confusion to amusement. Harry's face went slightly red and he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.  
“Um, actually we haven’t slept together yet.” He seemed almost embarrassed, Louis didn't see what there was to be embarrassed about, but that wasn't gonna stop him from teasing. Harry avoided eye contact, finding interest in his slippers instead.  
“You’re dating Kendall Jenner and you haven’t slept with her?” Louis was honestly a bit surprised, he knew Harry usually didn't have sex with people when he first started dating them, but with the way they acted in public, Louis assumed they were sleeping together.  
“Sex isn’t the only thing that matters in a relationship.” Harry had always thought that, and Louis agreed, but it was still a really fun part of dating.  
“It’s not, but like you’ve been with her for like two months. What’s the hold up? I mean if I were her and was dating the sexiest guy on the planet, I’d fuck him after three dates.” That comment made Harry suddenly lose interest in the floor and snap his head up to look at Louis. His infamous smirk was present on his face, all traces of embarrassment gone.  
“I’m sorry what? Did you just refer to me as the sexiest guy on earth? And then say you want to fuck me?” Now it was Louis' turn to be embarrassed.  
“No, I was being hypothetical. I was just trying to make a point.” Louis was looking everywhere but at Harry. He didn't really know why he said that, he was trying to be funny. He already knew Harry wasn't about to let this go.  
“So you don’t think I’m sexy?” Harry was definitely not going to let this go. Louis sighed, knowing Harry was going to make this difficult.  
“Everyone thinks you're sexy Harry, it’s no big deal.” It was true that Louis found Harry sexy, could you really blame him though? Louis tried to look as bored with the conversation as possible, wanting it to end fast.  
“Does everyone want to fuck me as well?” The smirk on Harry's face was absolutely ridiculous and Louis could do nothing but roll his eyes.  
“Yeah, of course everyone wants to fuck you. Look at you!” No point in dancing around it, everyone wanted to sleep with Harry. If they said they didn't they were lying. You didn't have to be interested in men to want Harry to have his way with you.  
“So everyone wants to fuck me then?” Louis wasn't sure where Harry was going with this. He had literally just said that.  
“That’s what I just said idiot.” Louis flicked Harry off, but there was really no malice behind it.  
“So you weren’t being hypothetical.” What was happening.  
“Yes I was, I just said that as well.” Obviously what he said was for a hypothetical situation. It's not like Louis would actually sleep with Harry, even if a small part of him wished he could.  
“So hypothetically you want to fuck me?” Harry had obviously never heard the term 'let it go.' This conversation was probably about to go around in circles for 15 minutes.  
“No.” He low-key, non-hypothetically wished he could have sex with Harry. But he wasn't going to admit that.  
“So you want to non-hypothetically fuck me?” Harry's smirk could literally not get any wider. The fucking bastard.  
“No!” Lies.  
“Louis you said you hypothetically would fuck me if you were her. Then you said everyone wants to fuck me. You fall in the category of everyone, so therefore you just said you want to fuck me.” Louis couldn't actually deny that logic. That was exactly what had happened.  
“I’m done with this conversation.” He didn't know what else to do then just leave the room, knowing Harry wasn't fished with this. So that's what he did, he set down his cuppa and started to leave the room, shaking his head comically as he went.  
“Admit it. Say you just said that you want to fuck me.” Louis stopped half way to the entrance to the hallway. He thought about it for a second then replied,  
“If I do will you leave me alone?” He turned to face Harry again, slightly startled when he realized Harry was standing closer.  
“Yes.” Well, if that's what it took to end this conversation then he would admit it.  
“Then fine, I want to fuck you." Harry looked amused. "Actually, if we're being honest I want you to fuck me, alright there I said it. Leave me alone now.” Alright, that last part wasn't supposed to come out. Louis' eyes went wide and he mentally kicked himself for basically telling him that he wanted Harry inside of him. Louis was sure Harry would just be amused, but instead, Harry looked like the air had been kicked out of him. Louis almost wished he didn't notice Harry's eyes going darker. Almost. Louis now wished he had left the room earlier.  
“You want me to fuck you?” Harry spoke in a whisper as if it were a dark secret. Come to think of it, it kind of was. Louis was never going to be able to live this down.  
“You said you’d leave me alone if I told you. I told you, so now you have to stop talking about it."  
“Did you just say that to get me off your back? Or is it true.” Harry looked as if his life depended on the answer. Louis had no idea why he said what he said next, he could have easily lied and said he didn't mean it.  
“It’s true okay. I have no romantic interest in you whatsoever, but you’re hot and I'm not blind. And I also have needs so sue me if I think of you when I’m alone.” Yeah, he really should have just lied.  
“Fuck.” Harry bit his lip, making Louis question his entire existence.  
“What?” Louis wanted to disappear. This conversation was getting out of hand. Harry took a step closer, Louis wanted to run out of the room.  
“You think of me when you get off?” Harry should have been creeped out, or disgusted, but instead he seemed to be turned on. Fuck, Louis didn't need to know how Harry looked when he was turned on. Why was Harry talking that way? The way you would talk to someone you're trying to seduce. IT was like he wanted to make Louis squirm. The room felt like it was getting warmer and warmer every second and Louis was pretty sure the blush on his face was now permanent.  
“I am not having this conversation anymore.” He again made his way for the door, but Harry started talking, so he stopped.  
“I don’t want to fuck Kendall. That’s why we haven’t had sex. I’m not into her that way. She just doesn’t do it for me. And it’s really frustrating because everyone is always saying how hot she is and I think she’s really pretty, but even when I’m snogging her, I can’t get into it. I don’t even think of her when I touch myself.” Wow. Another visual Louis didn't need, but he knew the image of Harry jerking off would haunt him tonight.  
“I feel like you probably shouldn't have told me that.” Actually, Harry really shouldn't have told him that. What the fuck was going on?  
“I think of you.” Okay, that was unexpected.  
“What?” Louis had no other words.  
“I think of you when I touch myself.” Louis felt like the room was on fire, his blush was probably covering his entire body right now. Louis knew he should put this conversation to a stop, but he was curious to see where this was going. He had obviously never heard Harry talk like this, and it fascinated him to learn of Harry's dirty side. That was probably not healthy.  
“Oh my god stop talking!” This needed to end, before Louis did something stupid.  
“I’m sorry I just thought you should know.” He should't know that Harry thinks of him when he gets off. He shouldn't know what Harry's bedroom eyes look like. He shouldn't be turned on right now. This was his best mate. His best mate who was a man. His best mate who had a girlfriend.  
“You have a girlfriend Harry.” Harry suddenly looked really guilty. He took a step back, shaking his head.  
“I know, and I feel bad about it but I can’t help where my thoughts go.” Valid point.  
“Yeah, but you can help what you tell me.” Another valid point. Harry shouldn't have said all of that. In only a few minutes, Harry had supplied Louis' dirty mind with enough fantasies to last the rest of his life.  
“You just told me the same thing.” Fuck, he had a point there. However, this was different. Louis had made a passing comment that he immediately regretted, but there was really no harm, he didn't have a girlfriend. But Harry had actually crossed a line.  
“Yeah, but I’m not in a relationship. And now that I know you think about me like that, it makes me want you to fuck me even more." No one could ever say Louis was a liar. "But I can’t sleep with you because you have a girlfriend. Also you’re my best mate and band member so it would really make everything awkward.” Harry all the sudden no longer seemed guilty. His face went serious and his pupils were dilated again. He stepped closer to Louis and put his mouth to Louis' ear.  
“That’s a shame. I really want to fuck you.” Harry whispered in Louis' ear and then pulled back, taking a step back before staring at Louis' lips and biting his own. Louis was on fire. He almost wished Harry would just fuck him here on the kitchen floor. He needed to get out of the room right now. He needed to take a cold shower and forget this ever happened. Well, maybe he would have a wank and then forget this ever happened.  
“And I really want to stop having this conversation. Please stop talking before I actually let you kiss me.” Louis turned around to leave for the third time.  
“Where are you going.” Could Harry just stop fucking talking and let him leave.  
“To have a shower.” And to regret everything that lead up to this conversation.  
“And a wank?” Harry raised his eyebrow in question. Damn bastard.  
“Fuck you.” Louis flicked Harry off again. He was almost starting to get angry at Harry. Maybe he should be angry at himself too.  
“You’re gonna think of me aren’t you?” Son of a bitch, was this ever going to end.  
“No.” Lie.  
“You’re going to imagine me touching you aren’t you?” Harry bit his lip again, and Louis hated himself for taking a mental picture.  
“No I’m not!” Another lie.  
“Are you gonna finger yourself and wish it were my fingers.” Yes he probably was, he did it all the time, but he'd be damned if he admitted to that.  
“What the fuck. Stop talking.” This was a very cruel world.  
“I wish I could watch. Wanna see you touch yourself.” Louis' brain didn't know how to process that statement. Louis had no idea Harry could talk so dirty. He needed to leave the room now before he actually granted Harry's wish.  
“For the love of God Harry, all I said was I sometimes thought of you that way. How could you say all of that to me when I can’t have you? You’re being really fucking cruel right now.” Louis was so distraught. If he hadn't wanted Harry to fuck him before, he really did now. Louis had quite probably never been more turned on in his life, but he couldn't ever have Harry and it fucking sucked. All he wanted was a quick fuck, but he couldn't even have that. Harry had backed away from Louis and looked really embarrassed and almost ashamed. As he should be. Harry sat back down at the kitchen table, starring at his hands.  
“I’m sorry. You’re right I crossed a line. God I’m a terrible person aren’t I? I’m dating a beautiful, sweet girl who really like mes me, yet I’m hitting on you. I’m really sorry Lou, I wasn’t trying to be cruel or rub it in your face that you can’t have me. I couldn’t help it, You’re so fucking hot and I hate that I think about you that way. You’re my best mate, I would never put that at jeopardy. Especially not for some meaningless sex.” Louis actually felt bad. He hated when Harry thought he was a bad person. He hated when Harry was upset.  
“You’re not a terrible person Harry, you’re the best person I know. But maybe if you’re not attracted to Kendall in that way, and you’re having thoughts about someone who isn’t her, then you should probably do what’s right and break up with her.” Louis wanted to add that if he broke up with her, they could sleep together. Just once though. Just to get it out of their systems.  



	35. Stop Blowing Up The Group Chat

[9:00 am]  
Niall, Louis, Zayn, Liam, Harry  
Niall: Zayn will you be in town any time soon?  
Zayn: Eventually.  
Niall: I think the five of us should get together when you do.  
Liam: No  
Zayn: I think that would be a good idea actually! I miss you guys.  
Liam: Fuck off  
Niall: Liam, you ruin everything  
Liam: I’m sorry if i don’t want to spend time with the person who broke my heart  
Niall: Liam I’m gonna be really fucking blunt right now. It means a lot to Harry, Louis and I that we all remain friends. We miss the group, don’t ruin this. That goes for both of you!  
Zayn: At least pretend for their sake? I feel so bad about what I did and I can’t stand to see it come between our entire band.  
Liam: Newsflash: You’re not in OUR band   
Niall: I’m sorry I brought it up, damn  
Harry: Can you guys not blow up the group chat at 9 in the fucking morning? Thanks  
Niall: Harry don’t you think Liam and Zayn should stop being selfish and tearing the band apart.  
Harry: Zayn tore the band apart already. Too late for that.  
Zayn: I’m sorry I “ruined the band”. It’s not like you guys needed me anyway…  
Harry: Don’t say that, I’m sorry I’m making you feel unwelcome in this friendship. I’m just frustrated with how this all turned out.   
Niall: We understand mate, we’re all frustrated.  
Liam: Alright, I’m not saying I forgive you Zayn, but obviously we’re making everyone else suffer, so I guess I can be civil with you. But only for Louis, Harry, and Niall’s sake  
Niall: Thank god  
Zayn: Thank you Liam.   
Niall: Okay, time for Louis and Harry to make up!  
Harry: We already have. For the most part.  
Liam: Where has Louis been this entire conversation?  
Niall: Hungover  
Liam: You let him drink?!  
Zayn: Niall you know he’s trying to be sober right?  
Niall: No I didn’t know that! He’s fine though!!!! Chill out. Harry already freaked out on me last night about it.  
Harry: Sorry for caring


	36. It's About You

[9:32 am]  
Harry, Zayn, Liam, Niall  
Liam: Niall what exactly happened last night?  
Niall: I went round to his house and he was upset, so I offered to take him out.  
Zayn: Great idea! Because alcohol actually solves problems!  
Liam: Why was he upset?  
Niall: Um….I can’t say.  
Harry: Why not?  
Niall: It was about you   
Zayn: Did he actually talk to you about why he was sad?  
Niall: Yeah….  
Liam: What did he say?  
Niall: He said he was sad because he ruined things with Harry and because he thinks Harry hates him. He said he can’t live with himself knowing he hurt Harry and that you don’t want him anymore.  
Liam: Fuck  
Zayn: He said that exactly? Fuck  
Harry: I could never hate him.  
Niall: What’s the big fucking deal? So he misses Harry? Harry misses him too, it’s clear you don’t hate him Harry. Everyone gets sad about things they did, he’ll be fine though.  
Harry: Louis is tough, as much as it kills me to know he feels that way, I know he’ll be okay.


	37. Putting Aside Differences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of suicide

[9:53 am]  
Liam: I haven’t forgiven you, and I really don’t want to talk to you, but this is more important. I’m really concerned about Louis.  
Zayn: Me too. They don’t know about how depressed he is do they?  
Liam: No, not the full extent.  
Zayn: Fuck. What if he’s suicidal? Niall did say he said he couldn’t live with himself.  
Liam: What do we do? Should we confront him?   
Zayn: Not in person, he will panic.  
Liam: You’re right.   
Zayn: I’m gonna text him.  
Liam: Let me know how it goes.  
Zayn: Alright


	38. Wrong Text

[10:02 am]  
Louis, Zayn, Niall, Harry, Liam  
Zayn: Louis are you okay? Niall said you were drinking last night and he said you were really upset. You didn’t hurt yourself did you? What Niall said really worried me and Liam, we need to know you’re okay and that you didn’t hurt yourself again. Please tell me what happened babe, I can’t stand to see you do this to yourself.   
Liam: Why did you send that to the group chat?  
Zayn: What? FUCK I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT.  
Harry: Lou  
Niall: Louis...is that true? Did you hurt yourself  
Louis: Zayn doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s lying. That’s not true. Why would I hurt myself?  
Liam: Louis...  
Niall: Louis is Zayn telling the truth?   
Zayn: Baby, I’m so sorry, I meant to just send that to you, I promise, I didn’t mean it.   
Liam: Louis, we are worried about you okay? Right now I don’t care that we broke your promise not to tell. I should have never promised that, but you told me not to worry so I didn’t tell.  
Louis: There is nothing to worry about, I’m fine.  
Zayn: Baby, you don’t need to lie, we’re your best friends, we want you to be safe and healthy and happy okay? Niall and Harry aren’t judging you babe, they want to help.  
Louis: I don’t need any fucking help Zayn I told you a million times, I don’t need help.  
Liam: It’s okay to admit you need help Lou.  
Harry: Sunshine, please don’t lie to us.  
Louis: I’m not fucking lying to you. And don't fucking call me that.   
Niall: Let's not discuss this over text  
Harry: Louis what's going on?   
Louis: You can all fuck off I don't know where you got this crazy idea Zayn.   
Zayn: Louis I'm done with your bullshit. If you wanna deny what you told me and Liam then go right ahead. You're only hurting yourself.   
Harry: Zayn lay off him   
Louis: I don't need you to defend me Harry, stop acting like you all care. Zayn’s right, it doesn't affect you guys.   
Liam: We care about you Louis.   
Louis: Then don't lie to my friends and tell them shit you made up about me.


	39. Take Your Own Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of cutting and panic attacks

[10:18 am]  
Harry, Liam, Niall  
Niall: Are we still going over to his house at 4?  
Harry: Yes, he needs to know we care, the only way to do that is by showing up and not talking about it.  
Liam: Yeah, I think we upset him enough for one day, bringing it up will make him have a panic attack  
Harry: Does he have panic attacks more often now?  
Liam: Yeah, it’s really scary to see him like that  
Niall: How long has this been going on? How could I have missed it?  
Liam: Few months I guess. He’s really good at hiding all of it, I only found out he was cutting because I found the razor blade in his bathroom. I confronted him about it and he denied it like he just did, but then he admitted to it and said he was really depressed and was having panic attacks almost every night. He told me he was seeing a therapist, but I don’t think he was.  
Niall: Holy shit  
Harry: oh my god, my baby. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I didn’t know. I knew he was depressed, but I didn’t know how bad it was.  
Niall: I didn’t even know he was depressed.  
Liam: I told you, he’s good at hiding it.  
Harry: Niall you said he was upset because of me  
Liam: Harry don’t you fucking blame yourself okay? If you don’t remember correctly he’s the one who hurt you, it’s not your fault he’s depressed.  
Harry: I made him think I hated him. I called him some really shitty things.  
Niall: But you don't hate him. You love him right? I'm sure he knows that.  
Harry: I may have actually told him I hated him. But I was angry. I love him more than anyone in the world, but at the time I couldn't get over what he did to me.  
Liam: Harry, I know he messed up, but he’s so sorry, he was confused. Can’t you understand what it’s like to realize you have feelings for your best friend? He panicked.  
Niall: Um, Liam maybe you should take your own advice.  
Liam: What?  
Niall: You’re defending Louis, but you won’t even hear Zayn out.  
Liam: That’s different and you know it!  
Harry: This is so fucked up, none of this was supposed to happen.  
Niall: Look, I’m clearly the only one in this band who has any sense left. Harry, you and Louis are made for each other, get the fuck together already and get over what he did. Liam, Zayn fucking hates himself for what he did, give him one more chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Im having so much fun with this story and I'm sad it's almost done.


	40. Will You Drop Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe this is chapter 40! This started with literally no plot in mind I'm so happy with where it's going!

*flashback*  
Louis wasn't sure why Harry had texted him at 2 am, asking him to come over right away, but he found himself at Harry’s front door anyway. He told himself he only came over because he was curious what Harry wanted, but he was pretty sure he actually knew the reason. Harry was going to tell him he broke up with Kendall.  
Harry answered the door on the second knock and all but yanked Louis inside.  
“Guess what I did today Lou! I dumped Kendall. Thanks for advising me to.” Why was he smiling so much? He just broke up with his supermodel girlfriend. Of course, the model status apparently didn't phase Harry even though it phased every other guy on the planet.  
“Harry, I hope you didn't break up with her just because that's the advice I gave you.” Louis walked further into Harry’s house while talking. They ended up in the living room. Harry started to walk over to the couch.  
“I didn't.” Harry sounded very bashful all the sudden. Was that a blush? Louis remembered the conversation he had with Harry the night before.  
“Harry…” Louis said carefully, making his way over to where Harry was now sat. Louis crouched in front of Harry, putting his hands gently on Harry’s hands. Harry started to worry, this was how Louis usually told him bad news. “I hope you didn't think we would… get together, um you know, sexually…now that you're single. I was joking around I don’t actually think we should do...that.”  
Harry chuckled dryly before replying, “ Louis, I know that. I'm not stupid enough to break up with her in the hopes that I might get to sleep with someone else.”  
Louis slowly started to stand up. He dropped Harry's hands as he spoke. “So why was it so important I come over? You could have told me all that on the phone.” Louis perched on the arm of the couch Harry was sitting on.  
“I know, but I wanted to see you and I knew if I asked you'd drop everything and run over here.” Louis honestly didn't know if Harry was joking, but it was true.  
“You make it act like I'm spineless and do everything you ask.” Louis said in mock offense. Harry just responded by lightly shoving Louis.  
“Hey! You could have knocked me over.” Louis tried to push back, but Harry got up from the couch and walked out of Louis’ reach.  
“It's late, you should just crash in the guest room so you don't have to drive home.” Leave it to Harry to invite someone over late at night and then tell them to just stay because it's late. But of course Louis agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this flash back will be up after I finish the fic exchange I'm doing. Thanks for reading everyone!


	41. Taking Care Of Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry it's been so long. I was finishing a fic exchange. Check out my work for it titled "Lonely Boy". I've decided there's gonna be 50 chapters so we're almost there! Enjoy! This is a flashback continuing from the previous chapter.

*FLASHBACK*

Harry was startled out of his sleep by a light knock on his bedroom door. He quickly realized it was just Louis.  
“Come in” Harry mumbled only loud enough for Louis to hear noise. Louis opened the door anyway and walked up to Harry's bed.  
“You alright Louis?” Louis put his sweater covered hand up to his mouth and slowly shook his head. Harry pulled the covers over and without a word, Louis understood Harry was telling him to climb in. This wouldn't be the first time this happened. On nights where they crashed at each other's houses and one of them couldn't sleep, they would climb in the same bed and cuddle. Usually Louis would drift off to sleep only minutes after being wrapped up in Harry’s arms. Louis claimed it was because Harry smelled good and it was calming, but Harry knew the familiarity of Harry’s arms was the true calming agent.  
They laid there for a minute, Louis’s head resting on Harry’s chest and Harry running his fingers through Louis’ hair, before Louis spoke up.  
“I'm sorry about your breakup.” Louis whispered against Harry's bare skin. Harry shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his other arm around Louis, pulling him in closer.  
“It's okay Lou, I'm not sad about it. I'd rather be here with you anyway.”  
“Really? You'd rather be cuddling in your bed with me than with a beautiful girl?”  
“Yeah. I'd rather be doing anything with you. You're my favorite person. I just want to be with you all the time.”  
“Harry that's so sweet.”  
“What about you?”  
“You're my favorite person too. I can't think of anyone I'd rather cuddle with.”  
“What was wrong that made you come to my room?”  
“Nothing. It's stupid.”  
“Louis it's okay you can tell me anything. You know that.”  
“Um well don't take this the wrong way but I was kind of disappointed about why you wanted me to come over.”  
“What do you mean? You're disappointed I broke up with Kendall?”  
“No, I’m disappointed you just wanted me to come over to tell me about Kendall.”  
“I didn't actually. I invited you over for a different reason but I don't really wanna talk about it. Why would that make you disappointed.”  
“Well I don't know if disappointed is the right word. I actually figured you were gonna tell me you broke up with her. But I thought you wanted me to come over because of our conversation last night. I thought maybe you were going to want to sleep with me.”  
“You were disappointed because I didn't want to fuck you?”  
“I guess I just was curious and wanted to know what it would be like. That's why I came over.”  
“You thought that as soon as I broke up with my girlfriend I would booty call my best friend.”  
“When you say it like that it sounds crazy.”  
“But you told me nothing sexual would happen between us.”  
“Because I realized that's not why you called me over.”  
“I broke up with her because I'm not into her and have thoughts of other people. Especially you. But I don't think we should actually fuck. I don't know what got into me last night.”  
“Would it really be a big deal if we did? I mean just to see what it's like and get it out of our systems? It doesn't have to be weird.”  
“It's probably a bad idea but I want to.”  
“Me too.”  
Louis picked his head off Harry’s chest and looked him in the eyes for a moment. Harry bit his lip and Louis took it as an invitation to lean up and capture Harry's lips. Harry froze for a moment before kissing back. Louis moved to straddle Harry’s hips without breaking the kiss. As if by instinct, Harry’s hands immediately went to Louis’ waist. Louis responded by humming against Harry’s lips, causing Harry to chuckle. Louis pulled away with a look of confusion on his face.  
“Why are you laughing Harry?”  
“Because this is ridiculous. I can't believe we’re doing this.”  
“We don't have to, we can stop if you want. This is actually a terrible idea, I shouldn't have kissed you.”  
Louis avoided eye contact with Harry as he moved to get off of him, but Harry grabbed for Louis’ hand to get him to stay.  
“I don't want to stop. If you're okay with it we can keep kissing. It may not be a good idea, but this I what we both want right now isn't it?”  
“Yeah it's what we want now but won't be what we want in the morning. What if this makes things awkward.”  
“You said it would only be weird if we made it weird. So let's just not make it weird. One night to get it out of our system. What happens tonight stays in this room. What do you say about that?”  
“That sounds crazy but I guess it would work. It would be like a one night stand only we’re best friends after.”  
“Only if that's what you want. Are you sure?”  
“Yes, I am sure. I want to kiss you.”  
“Then we’ll kiss. Nothing changes after this though. We can do this all night and then we won't wonder what it would have been like.”  
“If we just kiss though won't we still wonder?”  
“Are you suggesting we do more than kiss?”  
“Yeah I mean if you want to. I'm just saying we can see how far we go. If we’re only doing this one night we should do everything we’re curious about.”  
“You don't have to beat around the bush Lou. You can just tell me what you want to do.”  
“I think you already know.”  
“I need you to actually tell me. We need to be on the same page.”  
“I want to sleep with you, I told you that Harry. Don't make me say it again, I feel like I'm begging. Let's get this show back on the road.”  
“Maybe I like you begging for it. Maybe it turns me on.”  
“If it turns you on then fucking kiss me fool.”  
Harry responded by pulling Louis down and planting another kiss on his lips. Louis smiled into it, moving down to lay gentle kisses on Harry’s neck. Harry’s hands went to Louis’ hair, prompting Louis to suck on a spot right below Harry’s jaw. Harry didn't even try to suppress a moan as Louis left a mark on his neck. Harry pulled on Louis’s hair almost too roughly, coaxing out a moan from Louis, as he pulled him in for another kiss. This time, Harry opened his mouth to allow Louis full access. The moment Louis licked at Harry’s tongue, was the same moment he grinded down on Harry’s lap. Harry brought his hands down to the hemline of Louis’ sweater and Louis got the hint, helping Harry to get the article of clothing out of the way. The sweater was tossed out of the way and within seconds Louis found himself flipped on his back with Harry hovering over him. Now it was Harry’s turn to plant kisses on Louis’ body, but he didn't stop at the neck. He planted sloppy kisses all over Louis’ chest and shoulders. He started planting kisses lower and lower, hesitating once he reached the waistband of Louis’ sweatpants. He looked up at Louis with that signature smile of his.  
“Are you sure about this?” He asked Louis again just to make sure.  
“Yes, I'm positive. Are you?”  
“Absolutely” Harry replied as he got back to business.


	42. See You Soon

[10:41 am]   
Harry, Niall, Zayn  
Niall: We’re still on for 4 pm at Louis’   
Zayn: Does Liam still not know I’m coming?  
Niall: He doesn’t know.  
Harry: Also, don’t bring up anything that happened today.   
Zayn: I feel like we should talk to him about it.  
Harry: I’m going to his house earlier, so I’m going to talk to him about it then, Liam thinks if we all confront him then he’ll panic.   
Zayn: That’s a good point, I’ll see you guys at 4.


	43. I'm Stronger

[10:59]  
Zayn: I’m really sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you babe, it was an accident.  
Louis: Whatever  
Zayn: They don’t pity you. They just want you to be okay.  
Louis: Well I’m not  
Zayn: Did you hurt yourself last night?  
Louis: No, I actually didn’t Z, that’s why what you said sucks so bad. I’m doing good.   
Zayn: I know you are baby, I’m proud of you.  
Louis: I haven’t cut in two days  
Zayn: You’re so fucking strong, you know that? I’m proud of you!  
Louis: Thanks Z. I’ll see you soon x


	44. Never Wanted To Hurt You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few more chapters to go! I'm excited but I've been working on it so long I feel like it's a part of me.

[11:08 am]  
Harry: I’ll see you at 3 okay?  
[11:24 am]   
Harry: You probably don’t want to talk to me and I get that. Just know I don’t think anything different of you.  
[11:36 am]   
Harry: If I could protect you from getting hurt I would, I can’t stand the thought of you being sad cupcake  
[11:41 am]  
Louis: Then stop breaking my heart  
Harry: Pumpkin, you know I didn’t intend to hurt you, I didn’t mean what I said and I wish more than anything I could take it back.   
Louis: I know you didn't want to hurt me….  
Harry: And I know you didn’t mean to hurt me darling  
Louis: You do?  
Harry: Yes, let’s talk more about this in person though.  
Louis: Okay H


End file.
